You know what I'm talking about. You went to an IFB (Independent Fundamental Baptist) church three times a week. The Christian school you attended was connected to your church/cult, or you were home-schooled. Your church was committed to the "Doctrine of Separation" and strong discipline. You believed Billy Graham was the "bad guy" and that all other churches and religious organizations were/are disobedient and in "sin" (i.e. you were taught even the Southern Baptists were/are "compromising liberals"). Your church also controlled nearly every aspect of your life. Your family may have even needed to get permission from the pastor before going on vacation (if you dared leaving in the first place). If you are female (heaven forbid), you most likely wore long skirts and the IFB clothing item known as "culottes" most of your life whenever you went in public (you even went swimming in them).
You're familiar with most if not all of the following:
"Bus Ministry"
"Soul-winning"
Gospel tracts
King James Onlyism
"The Bible says, 'Touch Not God's Anointed' and that means ME!"
"Let me tell you something big boy, you rebel against your parents and you go down across town to that Southern Baptist Church and let me tell you something, you've stepped out of the will of God! You hear me? You just want to hear that mamby, pamby preaching from those preachers who water down the gospel of Jesus Christ and that is nothing more than your rebellious heart crying out in your SIN!"
"Pants on women is sinful!"
"Christian Contemporary worship music is demonic!"
"Rock music played backwards tells you to kill your parents!"
"Going to the cinema is a sin!"
"Billy Graham has done more damage to the cause of Christ than any other man alive! He's a heretic!"
Screaming, ranting, and raving pastors
Hellfire and brimstone sermons
You used to enjoy reading the book, "Me, Obey Him?" and thought the points made about wifely obedience were spot on.
"Women are to be in submission and obedient to their husbands at all times!"
"Women are to keep silent in the church."
"A woman's proper place is pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen."
"I don't care if she says she was beaten and molested. She's just BITTER!"
"Well, good, godly men get accused falsely of molestation all the time now-a-days by people who hate what they stand for."
"I don't care if she was 15 and he was 50, she was well known for wearing provocative clothing. And how do we really know who is telling the truth"?
"Black people have the 'mark of Cain'."
"What do you mean we're racist? We just ban interracial dating/marriage and use the Bible as our proof text to do so. That's not 'racism,' that's the BIBLE!"
"Any counseling by a professional psychologist is of the devil! I don't care if they claim to be a Christian. If they are licensed and not a part of our group, they are not godly counselors. They are secular humanists ready and waiting to accuse every good man of doing something wrong. They want to see the destruction of the true church!"
You walked the church aisle approximately 15 times to become "born again, again."
You spent tens of thousands of dollars for a college degree that means nothing in your professional field, but you console yourself with the idea that you walked away knowing how to make your bed, take out the trash, hang up your clothes, wear sharp suits and talk a good game.
You were beaten bloody, but your "will was never broken." As a matter of fact, your "will" is stronger now than it ever was and you're happy about it.
Tent/revival meetings
The prohibition of dancing (It's carnal, you know!)
Your parents inscripted Bible verses in the wooden "rod" they used to beat you with.
Annoying choirs, and special music
That damn organ...
Alter Calls
Tithing..."If you aren't giving 10% of your income to the church, you're stealing from the LORD!"
The Sinner's Prayer
Street Preaching
Protests/picketing with signs that urged people to repent.
"College is so much more than getting a degree for a professional career. College is about experiences and learning discipline and training, and who better to train you than us"?
"No good Christian needs to learn about things like psychology and feminism! Those are devilish movements!"
"We don't need the governments approval (but, shh, don't tell anyone in the group that we're taking their money!)."
"Santa is really Satan in disguise!"
"Halloween is Lucifer's day!"
"Old Church Hymns only!"
"We refuse to allow the ungodly music of those Southern Baptist Liberal Convention churches into our house of worship!"
"The King James Bible is the perfect, inspired, literal, inerrant word 'a God, and there isn't a single translational mistake in it."
"If you aren't in a King James Bible-believing, Independent Fundamental Baptist Church, you are on your way to hell."
You attended what you thought was a University, then realized you got a bogus degree and were shocked to learn that it was nothing more than the "Jones' Family For Profit Business."
You have an unaccredited "college" degree, which means nothing in the "real world."
"And who cares if the rest of the world goes to college to get a professional/usable degree? If the rest of the world jumped off a bridge, would you want to do that too"?
Large families/no birth control
Phony Ph.D.s
"If you're gay...get out of here! We don't want 'your kind' around our kids!"
Your father/family member has an honorary doctorate from the college/university or institution he works for.
Lowest salaries in the US for employees in the IFB. As a matter of fact, now that you think about it, the employees in the IFB make less than the missionaries to Africa that you are currently supporting.
Being told, "You're just bitter" and "not right with God" when you leave.
Getting ostracized by your family and friends for leaving the group.
You were a guy/girl beaten mercilessly in an unlicensed group home.
You ran away from one of these group homes.
You were one of the girls sent to a group home for "rebellion," but all you really wanted was to simply wear a pair of pants.
No mixed swimming.
Culottes
Chick Tracts
Patch the Pirate
Character Sketches
"Steve Green is a wolf in sheep's clothing."
Patriarchy...keep that woman in her place!
You could make four times less than you are making now, while doing four times the work if you decided to go back.
You had nightmares as a child from the overused "Left Behind" videos in your church.
Dating parlors and super slides (while wearing culottes).
and much, much more!
You may also fit into the group well if you once attended or were reared/trained under materials available through:
Bob Jones University (Greenville, SC)
Pensacola Christian College (Pensacola, FL)
Hyles-Anderson College (Hammond, IN)
Advanced Training Institute-Bill Gothard
Quiverfull
Vision Forum
Above Rubies
Creation Research Institute
The Wilds Christian Camp
The Bill Rice Ranch
The Roloff Homes
No Greater Joy
Your spiritual gurus at one time in your life were most likely:
Bob Jones Jr.
Bob Jones III
John R. Rice
Arlin Horton
Jack Hyles
Jack Schaap
Bill Gothard
Doug Phillips
Kent Hovind
Lester Roloff
Sam Gipp
Bob Gray
Peter Ruckman
Michael Pearl
Ron Comfort
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar
Stephen l. Anderson
Fred Phelps
or any other man who received a phony doctorate from one of the "colleges/universities" in the IFB.
Your Christian school or homeschool curriculum was from:
Bob Jones Press
Abeka Books (Pensacola Christian College)
Advanced Training Institute (Bill Gothard)
School of Tomorrow (ACE)
Independent Fundamental Baptist Girls and Boys Group Homes:
Anchor Character Training Center (Iowa)
Calvary Boys Ranch, Boarding Academy (Oklahoma)
Haven of Hope Girls Academy (Maryland)
Happiness Hill Home (Texas)
Heritage Boys Academy (Florida)
Hephzibah House (Indiana)
Joshua Scott Boarding School (West Virginia)
Jubilee Home for Ladies (Texas)
Lighthouse Children's Home (Missouri)
Marvelous Grace Girls Academy (Alabama)
Reclamation Ranch (Alabama)
Shenandoah Boys Ranch (Tennessee)
Shenandoah Girls Haven (Tennessee)
Shining Light School for Boys (North Carolina)
Victorious Valley Homes (South Carolina)
William Seth Rochester Home for Children (South Carolina)
Willow Valley Boarding Academy and Camp (Ohio)
The Ark Youth Shelther (South Carolina)
New Bethany Boys Home (Alabama)
Below is a list of websites dedicated to exposing the radical beliefs, as well as the sexual, physical and spiritual abuses within the IFB:
http://www.baptistdeception.com/
www.freedomfromabuse.net
www.jeriwho.net
http://dannimoss.wordpress.com/
http://independentspirits.net/
http://www.formerhephzibahgirls.webs.com/
http://reformatvictory.com/
http://www.healingspiritualabuse.com/
http://nolongerquivering.com/vyckies-story/
http://www.batteredsheep.com/gothard.html
http://www.midwestoutreach.org/
http://www.stufffundieslike.com/
http://www.hephzibah-girls.blogspot.com/
http://xatigirl.wordpress.com/
Please Note:
Anyone is welcome to join this group. If you have never been a member of the IFB or are a family member or friend of a former IFB member, we welcome your support and participation in the ongoing discussion.
However, if you post any comments whining that the group rubs you the wrong way, I will promptly delete it. This group was not designed to put a "positive spin" on the IFB, but to highlight the errors and abuses within the group. If you plan to come on here to highlight the "positives" of the IFB lifestyle, your posts will be deleted. This is a group where people who have been damaged by the aberrant teachings within the IFB can feel "safe" to express their feelings without a rebuttle from a PR agent from within the cult.
Another way to say it: Don't post positive comments about any person/organization/ministry/college/university in the IFB. Please keep in mind that there are thousands of abuse victims from within this cult and any person/organization/ministry/college/university you choose to praise ... most likely was a primary abuser of another person on this forum. If you come on here "undercover" to soften the perception of the IFB as a cult...don't bother...we'll figure out what you're doing and you'll be deleted from the group. If you don't agree with us on that, don't join.
This group was also not designed to tackle the erring beliefs/practices of other religious groups or denominations. It was created with the intention of highlighting, exposing, and discussing the aberrant teachings unique to those who grew up in IFB organizations and who were taught the "Doctrine of Separation." There are plenty of other groups on the internet discussing/highlighting the errors of other religious groups, so with that in mind, we'd like to keep the discussions "on point" and focused on the teachings within the IFB.
And please understand that coming out of a cult can be a very traumatic experience. Most people go through 5-7 stages of grief. Many ex-IFB members have been told that they would be "wrong" for choosing to publicly express the pain they experienced as a result of being in this cult (the "conspiracy of silence" within the group). On that note, if you intend to take part in this group with the purpose of telling people they need to "snap out of it" or "think on the bright side" or just "move on," you are in the wrong place. We desire to accept people where they are at, in every stage. This forum is intended to be a place where a person can express anger, resentment, betrayal, fear, grief and sorrow and expect to be shown compassion. It is also a place where people can share positve changes, personal experiences, humor and specific steps they have taken to recover and move forward in a more productive way.
Also, no member on this forum should be condemned or reprimanded or corrected for the way in which they choose to express their negative feelings about religion (in general) now after having left the IFB. This forum is not a religious forum, nor does it run on a religious agenda. If you lean more liberal in your positions, some things people say on this forum may turn your stomach. If you lean conservative in your positions, some things people say on this forum may be offensive to you. Ultimately, believe what you wish and feel free to express your own personal beliefs (whether you are Christian, Jew, Muslim, Atheist, Mormon, Agnostic, etc.), just don't tell people on this forum that they are "wrong" for believing what they believe. We've all heard enough of that kind of negativity in the IFB and would rather not see it go on here.
Any post causing harm or hurt to another person will be deleted. By following these ground rules as a group, we will hopefully keep this place 100% SAFE.
Also, sending me mini sermons via private messaging is futile, as I will discard them without so much as glossing over the first sentence. You are welcome to moan about it elsewhere!
Dislike my group? DON'T JOIN. All others please join and invite your friends. This group is for anyone who has experienced the "joys" (ha!) of growing up IFB--whether you are a Christian or otherwise!